Some of life's greatest lessons are counter intuitive. Growing up I always believed the ultimate in an interpersonal relationship was love. Now those exact words didn't exist, but the thought process was the same.
Some men select a bride because she has pretty eyes, some because she has pretty hair. A man once married his bride because she could sing. On the morning after their marriage, when he saw her without any paint or powder on, and saw a part of her hair on the dresser, he looked at her and said," Sing, for hell sakes, sing!"
Eric Fromm, renowned social psychologist explained that sexual desire is in the minds of most people and is associated with love. As such, they are easily mislead into confusing love with physical desire.
In a previous blog (Abigail the Monster) I explained that love is not the end goal, it is the beginning of the process. If love isn't the starting point, your ending point will most assuredly be anything but happiness and joy.
Couples often fall in lust thinking they are falling in love. Being physically attracted to each other is very important, but sexual combustibility is a short fuse and a spark.
The 5-year itch is a direct result of falling in lust. Falling in love requires action of a different nature than sexual prowess. Lust is temporary satisfaction, love can be eternal.
Love requires effort and patience and can be the epitome of passion. Lust is passion run amok. It is the elimination of boundaries and leads to broken hearts, broken marriages and pain.
It is has been said that you will marry or raise your greatest challenge!
Yesterday I invited my granddaughter's parents over to our house. Abigail, my granddaughter, is the cutest little piece of energy in existence.
Her dad sent me this response.
I told Heather about the discussion, and this was her reply
Let's refer to "Abigail" as... The Monster.
The Monster only slept for an hour today.
The Monster is very grumpy.
I am making the Monster stay in her crib for at least 20 minutes in hopes that she will cry her sleepy monster self to sleep.
My guess would be, the monster won't be up for a late night.
And neither will her innocent prey. (aka... me)
It is through our challenges that we grow. A mother's love is strong because of what she gives up. It is given because the mother is good, not because of anything the child has done.
The mother serves and sacrifices for her offspring and brings about a level of love to be emulated.
In a marriage relationship, your starting point is love.
The story is told of a young couple that received the following advice from their minister after the marriage ceremony,
"You are at the end of your problems."
Some months later, the husband, seeing the minister, approached him and told him about all the problems they have been having, ending his frustrated diatribe with "you said we were at the end of our problems."
To which the sage gentleman replied: "Yes I did, but I didn't indicate which end."
Have you ever wondered what would happen if a perfect man married a perfect woman?
I'll wager that he would shoot her inside of a week if she didn't strangle him first.
The story is told of a husband, who after three months of marriage, sat down to dinner with his wife and said: "I think it's time we discussed some needed areas of improvement in our marriage. I'll like to share a list of things you can improve on and then you can share your ideas with me."
The wife sat down and gathered her thoughts. As her husband started to read his list, she held up her hand and said:
"Before you start, I want you to know that I don't have a list of things you need to work on, I'm very pleased with the person I married. The next thing you should know is that the weaknesses your about to illustrate are the very things that prevented me from marrying someone better than you. Okay, now I'm ready."
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Dear Friends of Brides Club,
We are writing to personally invite everyone to participate in a high tech treasure hunt for a $20,000 Lazare Diamond Ring hidden somewhere in Seattle. We have partnered up with the folks running the Marci Diamond Dash on Saturday, August 29th and we want to give everyone the chance to join in on the fun!!!
The Marci Diamond Dash is a city-wide treasure hunt brought to you by Marci Jewelry. In this high tech treasure hunt teams of two will be solving clues and riddles delivered to each team's cell phone via text message! The game is totally FUN and totally FREE!! Some lucky team of two will be celebrating at Jillian's Billiard Club (apx 1PM) with a Lazare diamond ring worth $20k!! The Marci Diamond Dash will kick off at the Seattle Center under the east side of the Space Needle at 10AM and teams will get ready to run, bike and dash around Seattle for a hidden $20,000 Lazare diamond ring!
So you must be thinking how can I win a spot to compete for a $20,000 Lazare diamond? Good question! Everyone has to sign up to play at www.marcidiamonddash.com to submit their story of why they should win one of the limited spots in the contest.
If spots are limited, how can I be sure to win one? As a member of the Brides Club community you are privileged to a keyword that will enter you in an exclusive pool of candidates. When submitting your story you must include the codeword, "DIAMOND09BC" to be placed in the special candidate pool.
When will I find out if I'm selected? You will receive an email confirming your spot within a couple of days. The contest will only be accepting entries until Thursday August 27th and by the nature of limited spots, the earlier you enter, the greater your chances of being accepted.
We are very excited to be a part of this event. We hope that a Brides Club community member wins!! If you do, you'll have to take us out for a nice candle lit dinner to thank us!!
Best of luck! We'll see you on Saturday, August 29th!!
Posted on August 12th, 2009 Richard Himmer
We live in a world of noisy isolation. Our contact with electronic gadgets exceeds our contact with humans. We're busier, faster, brighter, and full of more information than at any time in the history of mankind. But do we talk to each other?
The microchip explosion has changed our ability to become intimate with our loved ones. We text them quick statements that are Egyptian characters in nature: mostly consonants or acronyms. LOL (laugh out loud), BTW (by the way), TTYL (talk to you later), and OMGTKOFGG (oh my gosh the kitchen's on fire, gotta go).
The Instant Messaging phenomenon is replacing the heart to heart intimacy critical in a relationship. If you want a better relationship, turn off your electronics and learn more about the one you love. Create a bubble, kind of like a force field, around yourself to prevent the world from getting in and spend some time with your family and loved ones.
1. "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
This is a timeless piece of literature. Mr. Carnegie weaves stories, anecdotes, and wisdom from the ages on how to get along with people, business associates, clients, and family. This book introduces you to the importance of asking questions before rendering judgment.
2. "The Anatomy of Peace" by The Arbinger Institute
Jim Ferrell and his staff have written an incredible book on developing relationships. Arbinger has developed a language of their own and it's sweeping the nation. Learn what it means to get 'Out of the box' and how to stay there. Every husband, wife, mother, father, and in-law needs to have the tools found in this book.
This is a preview of Don't Say "I Do" until you Read These. Read the full post (252 words, estimated 1:00 mins reading time)
I have some good news and some bad news.
First the good news: if approached correctly, married life will be the most glorious, blessed, and rewarding time spent with another person. Words are inept at trying to explain the love, the trust, and the respect that are developed in a successful marriage. Happy marriages deepen and get better with time.
Now the bad news: if not approached correctly, you have a 50 percent chance of getting a divorce. That doesn't count marriages that don't end in divorce but are not happy.
So now what? Consider this question:
This is a preview of So You're Getting Married. Read the full post (313 words, estimated 1:15 mins reading time)
Outdoor weddings are a hit this summer-- on a farm, in a vineyard, or even in the backyard -- and we'll continue to see a lot of them all of 2009. It's really no wonder: An outdoor setting makes for a fun, laid-back vibe and the decor options are limitless.
So what kinds of details are in store?
Vintage vases filled with fresh-from-the-garden flowers, mismatched china in bright colors, and homemade wooden signs to direct guests. Even catering is in on the action with in-season ingredients paired with local wine.
Lance Armstrong LIVESTRONG ride - 100 Mile ride against Cancer
I vowed to do this race when my Mom, Gail Buckles was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is a survivor. There was nothing else I could do. However, I promised myself / her I would do this. Help with raising awareness. I raised over $6,000 and I did my part to help others.
I Brad Buckles rode 103 miles. I could not have done it alone. I rode with the LCC, Lakemont Cycling Club. A great group of men and women much faster than I. It was emotional from the start. Anxiety built from the moment the national anthem played. Adrenaline rushed my body as the horn blew. And it was great fun along the way!
I have never eaten so much food in my life. My computer calculated I used up 8300 calories in roughly 6 hours. I ate GU, peanut butter sandwiches and more powerade than I can remember. I finished later that day at a Mariners game with a hamburger a hot dog and another peanut butter sandwhich!
"Great work Lakemont! I was thinking of you and the rest of the Lance Armstong riders this afternoon" The Mariners game after the ride was great, all the family together and all!
"Congratulation goes to all of you that participated in first Seattle LIVESTRONG Challenge by riding, fundraising and donating. We had a total of 12 of us from the Lakemont team. Also, with a big boost from Brad Buckles.(donations and powerful riding! :) way to go Brad! ) Fantastic work everyone!" "Finish was fantastic, somebody radioed my number to the staff at the finish line, they announced my name, fact that I did 100 miles, and how much I had raised (over $6k by now). Lots of people applauding"
All in all this was easily the best organized ride I've ever done.
- Wonderful start, "Lakemont Club" leaving in a very big pack of 100 mile riders, riding through Seattle, all roads cleared for us, police escort - no cars anywhere. - Then over the bus lanes to the express lanes to Mercer Island - Round Mercer Island - Then great course including plenty of hills, including Tiger and Montreux (what a hill that is . tougher than zoo hill) - Great rest stops and plenty of them, lots of food, water, peanut butter Sandwiches and LOTS OF GU! Weather couldn't have been better. NO RAIN!!!! At the end I had done 103 miles and 6,400 feet straight up. I think we can be proud of the money raised (over $33k collectively so far). Hope we can have more participants next year although 12 is not bad.
Brad Buckles - LIVESTRONG finisher :)