Some of life's greatest lessons are counter intuitive. Growing up I always believed the ultimate in an interpersonal relationship was love. Now those exact words didn't exist, but the thought process was the same.
Some men select a bride because she has pretty eyes, some because she has pretty hair. A man once married his bride because she could sing. On the morning after their marriage, when he saw her without any paint or powder on, and saw a part of her hair on the dresser, he looked at her and said," Sing, for hell sakes, sing!"
Eric Fromm, renowned social psychologist explained that sexual desire is in the minds of most people and is associated with love. As such, they are easily mislead into confusing love with physical desire.
In a previous blog (Abigail the Monster) I explained that love is not the end goal, it is the beginning of the process. If love isn't the starting point, your ending point will most assuredly be anything but happiness and joy.
Couples often fall in lust thinking they are falling in love. Being physically attracted to each other is very important, but sexual combustibility is a short fuse and a spark.
The 5-year itch is a direct result of falling in lust. Falling in love requires action of a different nature than sexual prowess. Lust is temporary satisfaction, love can be eternal.
Love requires effort and patience and can be the epitome of passion. Lust is passion run amok. It is the elimination of boundaries and leads to broken hearts, broken marriages and pain.
It is has been said that you will marry or raise your greatest challenge!
Yesterday I invited my granddaughter's parents over to our house. Abigail, my granddaughter, is the cutest little piece of energy in existence.
Her dad sent me this response.
I told Heather about the discussion, and this was her reply
Let's refer to "Abigail" as... The Monster.
The Monster only slept for an hour today.
The Monster is very grumpy.
I am making the Monster stay in her crib for at least 20 minutes in hopes that she will cry her sleepy monster self to sleep.
My guess would be, the monster won't be up for a late night.
And neither will her innocent prey. (aka... me)
It is through our challenges that we grow. A mother's love is strong because of what she gives up. It is given because the mother is good, not because of anything the child has done.
The mother serves and sacrifices for her offspring and brings about a level of love to be emulated.
In a marriage relationship, your starting point is love.
The story is told of a young couple that received the following advice from their minister after the marriage ceremony,
"You are at the end of your problems."
Some months later, the husband, seeing the minister, approached him and told him about all the problems they have been having, ending his frustrated diatribe with "you said we were at the end of our problems."
To which the sage gentleman replied: "Yes I did, but I didn't indicate which end."
Have you ever wondered what would happen if a perfect man married a perfect woman?
I'll wager that he would shoot her inside of a week if she didn't strangle him first.
The story is told of a husband, who after three months of marriage, sat down to dinner with his wife and said: "I think it's time we discussed some needed areas of improvement in our marriage. I'll like to share a list of things you can improve on and then you can share your ideas with me."
The wife sat down and gathered her thoughts. As her husband started to read his list, she held up her hand and said:
"Before you start, I want you to know that I don't have a list of things you need to work on, I'm very pleased with the person I married. The next thing you should know is that the weaknesses your about to illustrate are the very things that prevented me from marrying someone better than you. Okay, now I'm ready."
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A bride deserves to have all of her wedding day dreams come true, but finding the perfect wedding dress and complimenting accessories can be stressful! To ensure a stunning and carefree walk down the aisle, Angelique Serrano, Latina magazine Fashion and Beauty Director and David's Bridal Style Council member, is sharing her expert advice on how to pick the right dress for every body type and accessorize it with all the right touches.
Angelique has an exclusive video podcast live on the David's Bridal blog, www.blogs.davidsbridal.com, that makes finding a gorgeous wedding day look easier and more affordable than ever! From beautiful hues and figure-flattering styles to veils and heavenly headpieces, Angelique will show brides-to-be how to stylishly weave all the key elements together. Closely monitoring the fashion industry for Latina and as the former Director for the New York Fashion and Beauty Center, Angelique is always in the know about the latest fashion trends.
If this is something that you or your readers may be interested in, please check out the blog or visit You Tube to view Angelique's podcast.
Please let me know if you'd like any additional information on the David's Bridal Style Council or Angelique Serrano. Thanks!
Dear Friends of Brides Club,
We are writing to personally invite everyone to participate in a high tech treasure hunt for a $20,000 Lazare Diamond Ring hidden somewhere in Seattle. We have partnered up with the folks running the Marci Diamond Dash on Saturday, August 29th and we want to give everyone the chance to join in on the fun!!!
The Marci Diamond Dash is a city-wide treasure hunt brought to you by Marci Jewelry. In this high tech treasure hunt teams of two will be solving clues and riddles delivered to each team's cell phone via text message! The game is totally FUN and totally FREE!! Some lucky team of two will be celebrating at Jillian's Billiard Club (apx 1PM) with a Lazare diamond ring worth $20k!! The Marci Diamond Dash will kick off at the Seattle Center under the east side of the Space Needle at 10AM and teams will get ready to run, bike and dash around Seattle for a hidden $20,000 Lazare diamond ring!
So you must be thinking how can I win a spot to compete for a $20,000 Lazare diamond? Good question! Everyone has to sign up to play at www.marcidiamonddash.com to submit their story of why they should win one of the limited spots in the contest.
If spots are limited, how can I be sure to win one? As a member of the Brides Club community you are privileged to a keyword that will enter you in an exclusive pool of candidates. When submitting your story you must include the codeword, "DIAMOND09BC" to be placed in the special candidate pool.
When will I find out if I'm selected? You will receive an email confirming your spot within a couple of days. The contest will only be accepting entries until Thursday August 27th and by the nature of limited spots, the earlier you enter, the greater your chances of being accepted.
We are very excited to be a part of this event. We hope that a Brides Club community member wins!! If you do, you'll have to take us out for a nice candle lit dinner to thank us!!
Best of luck! We'll see you on Saturday, August 29th!!
Posted on August 12th, 2009 Richard Himmer
We live in a world of noisy isolation. Our contact with electronic gadgets exceeds our contact with humans. We're busier, faster, brighter, and full of more information than at any time in the history of mankind. But do we talk to each other?
The microchip explosion has changed our ability to become intimate with our loved ones. We text them quick statements that are Egyptian characters in nature: mostly consonants or acronyms. LOL (laugh out loud), BTW (by the way), TTYL (talk to you later), and OMGTKOFGG (oh my gosh the kitchen's on fire, gotta go).
The Instant Messaging phenomenon is replacing the heart to heart intimacy critical in a relationship. If you want a better relationship, turn off your electronics and learn more about the one you love. Create a bubble, kind of like a force field, around yourself to prevent the world from getting in and spend some time with your family and loved ones.
Flying Under the Radar Posted on August 12th, 2009 Richard Himmer
In the year 2009, it is currently vogue to be wired 24/7. It's harmful, but it is cool. Without the ability to fly under the radar screen for a period of time to recharge your batteries, you are living on the edge of stress and your body and mind are red lining.
I think being cool is just the opposite. Take an evening this week and fly under the radar screen. Drive your friends and relatives bonkers and turn off all electronic contact power from 5PM to morning. Achieve some balance by finding some 'me' time without electronics. Meditate, singularly focus your mind on something or on nothing and regenerate your batteries.
Think of yourself as a rechargeable battery. Stop the world for a short time and get off. The hustle and bustle of life will still be there when you get back.
Here's a thought: take the time and spend it with a loved one. Just talk. Talk about life, before and after the present. If you are married, get to know your spouse better. If you're a mom or dad, listen to your child.
Present tense relationships are not developed multi-tasking. You must be there, both body and mind.
The most effective way to enjoy this time is by improving your communication skills. Here are two articles on the Power and the Art of Questioning.
Balanced Living from the Start, Communication, Family, Marriage recharge batteries
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