Some of life's greatest lessons are counter intuitive. Growing up I always believed the ultimate in an interpersonal relationship was love. Now those exact words didn't exist, but the thought process was the same.
Some men select a bride because she has pretty eyes, some because she has pretty hair. A man once married his bride because she could sing. On the morning after their marriage, when he saw her without any paint or powder on, and saw a part of her hair on the dresser, he looked at her and said," Sing, for hell sakes, sing!"
Eric Fromm, renowned social psychologist explained that sexual desire is in the minds of most people and is associated with love. As such, they are easily mislead into confusing love with physical desire.
In a previous blog (Abigail the Monster) I explained that love is not the end goal, it is the beginning of the process. If love isn't the starting point, your ending point will most assuredly be anything but happiness and joy.
Couples often fall in lust thinking they are falling in love. Being physically attracted to each other is very important, but sexual combustibility is a short fuse and a spark.
The 5-year itch is a direct result of falling in lust. Falling in love requires action of a different nature than sexual prowess. Lust is temporary satisfaction, love can be eternal.
Love requires effort and patience and can be the epitome of passion. Lust is passion run amok. It is the elimination of boundaries and leads to broken hearts, broken marriages and pain.
It is has been said that you will marry or raise your greatest challenge!
Yesterday I invited my granddaughter's parents over to our house. Abigail, my granddaughter, is the cutest little piece of energy in existence.
Her dad sent me this response.
I told Heather about the discussion, and this was her reply
Let's refer to "Abigail" as... The Monster.
The Monster only slept for an hour today.
The Monster is very grumpy.
I am making the Monster stay in her crib for at least 20 minutes in hopes that she will cry her sleepy monster self to sleep.
My guess would be, the monster won't be up for a late night.
And neither will her innocent prey. (aka... me)
It is through our challenges that we grow. A mother's love is strong because of what she gives up. It is given because the mother is good, not because of anything the child has done.
The mother serves and sacrifices for her offspring and brings about a level of love to be emulated.
In a marriage relationship, your starting point is love.
The story is told of a young couple that received the following advice from their minister after the marriage ceremony,
"You are at the end of your problems."
Some months later, the husband, seeing the minister, approached him and told him about all the problems they have been having, ending his frustrated diatribe with "you said we were at the end of our problems."
To which the sage gentleman replied: "Yes I did, but I didn't indicate which end."
1. "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
This is a timeless piece of literature. Mr. Carnegie weaves stories, anecdotes, and wisdom from the ages on how to get along with people, business associates, clients, and family. This book introduces you to the importance of asking questions before rendering judgment.
2. "The Anatomy of Peace" by The Arbinger Institute
Jim Ferrell and his staff have written an incredible book on developing relationships. Arbinger has developed a language of their own and it's sweeping the nation. Learn what it means to get 'Out of the box' and how to stay there. Every husband, wife, mother, father, and in-law needs to have the tools found in this book.
This is a preview of Don't Say "I Do" until you Read These. Read the full post (252 words, estimated 1:00 mins reading time)
I have some good news and some bad news.
First the good news: if approached correctly, married life will be the most glorious, blessed, and rewarding time spent with another person. Words are inept at trying to explain the love, the trust, and the respect that are developed in a successful marriage. Happy marriages deepen and get better with time.
Now the bad news: if not approached correctly, you have a 50 percent chance of getting a divorce. That doesn't count marriages that don't end in divorce but are not happy.
So now what? Consider this question:
This is a preview of So You're Getting Married. Read the full post (313 words, estimated 1:15 mins reading time)
Lance Armstrong LIVESTRONG ride - 100 Mile ride against Cancer
I vowed to do this race when my Mom, Gail Buckles was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is a survivor. There was nothing else I could do. However, I promised myself / her I would do this. Help with raising awareness. I raised over $6,000 and I did my part to help others.
I Brad Buckles rode 103 miles. I could not have done it alone. I rode with the LCC, Lakemont Cycling Club. A great group of men and women much faster than I. It was emotional from the start. Anxiety built from the moment the national anthem played. Adrenaline rushed my body as the horn blew. And it was great fun along the way!
I have never eaten so much food in my life. My computer calculated I used up 8300 calories in roughly 6 hours. I ate GU, peanut butter sandwiches and more powerade than I can remember. I finished later that day at a Mariners game with a hamburger a hot dog and another peanut butter sandwhich!
"Great work Lakemont! I was thinking of you and the rest of the Lance Armstong riders this afternoon" The Mariners game after the ride was great, all the family together and all!
"Congratulation goes to all of you that participated in first Seattle LIVESTRONG Challenge by riding, fundraising and donating. We had a total of 12 of us from the Lakemont team. Also, with a big boost from Brad Buckles.(donations and powerful riding! :) way to go Brad! ) Fantastic work everyone!" "Finish was fantastic, somebody radioed my number to the staff at the finish line, they announced my name, fact that I did 100 miles, and how much I had raised (over $6k by now). Lots of people applauding"
All in all this was easily the best organized ride I've ever done.
- Wonderful start, "Lakemont Club" leaving in a very big pack of 100 mile riders, riding through Seattle, all roads cleared for us, police escort - no cars anywhere. - Then over the bus lanes to the express lanes to Mercer Island - Round Mercer Island - Then great course including plenty of hills, including Tiger and Montreux (what a hill that is . tougher than zoo hill) - Great rest stops and plenty of them, lots of food, water, peanut butter Sandwiches and LOTS OF GU! Weather couldn't have been better. NO RAIN!!!! At the end I had done 103 miles and 6,400 feet straight up. I think we can be proud of the money raised (over $33k collectively so far). Hope we can have more participants next year although 12 is not bad.
Brad Buckles - LIVESTRONG finisher :)
Brad Buckles & Lance Armstrong - Livestrong 100 miles!
Sunday 6/21 Fathers Day LIVESTRONG Challenge Seattle 100 Miles around and thru Seattle Washington
LET'S GO, Brad Buckles-Seattle!
I need your help, support & any fundraising possible. Even if it is a dollar. I don't care. If I can spend Fathers day riding 100 miles, you can help me with a few dollars. It is for cancer, it is in the name of my Mom. She has, is enduring breast cancer. I have cancer in my direct family. I have experienced, second hand, this disease.
Please help any way that you can :)
Brad Buckles Riding a GT Carbon frame (for those that ask) I am looking forward to this race/fight on Sunday!!!
Here is a LIVESTRONG posting from thier blog.
Show us your spirit! SEATTLE ROCKS!
The LIVESTRONG "Show Us Your Spirit" Rally is underway! The 'prize' is a City message and 'tweet' from Lance Armstrong, but most importantly: bragging rights over the other LIVESTRONG Challenge cities in terms of who has the best spirit!
What do we need to do? For the next two weeks, up to May 7, 2009, we need to raise as much money as possible, and bring on as many new participants as we can!
I KNOW that as the newest – and first – 2009 event city of the LIVESTRONG Challenge Series, that we can also be the first in registration and fundraising!
Let's compare the other Challenge Cities (this is where we throw down the gauntlet)
What does Austin have? Longhorns? "Hook 'Em"? What the heck does that mean? What does Philly have? A cracked bell and humidity? Rocky? Cream cheese? What does San Jose have? High tech? Heat and earthquakes?
... but ...
What does Seattle have? Clean air, snow-capped mountains, the ocean, lakes, hills, forests, a huge cycling and running community, and an amazing group of LIVESTRONG people with big hearts and relentless fundraising energy!
(Call me biased.)
The excitement is definitely building on all sides! The course route is set, the weather is getting warmer – but we need you to put Seattle on the LIVESTRONG map!
We welcome all Seattleites and out-of-towners to this great event, and LIVESTRONG Challenge participants will enjoy an unforgettable event! The course will take advantage of all aspects of Seattle – from starting under the Space Needle, to riding through downtown, to closing off a floating bridge for the riders, to taking in the beautiful lakes, hills, mountains and forests that form our topography. This truly will be a unique, fun and challenging ride.
So, go ahead, Seattle! Let's pick a fight with cancer!
Let's show Austin, Philly and San Jose who really is number one!
Let's put ourselves on the map! Sign up for the Challenge in Seattle, and FUNDRAISE, FUNDRAISE, FUNDRAISE!
Gooooo, Seattle & Goooo, Brad Buckles!
This week I have had the opportunity to attend and help organize one of the greatest gatherings in the wedding industry.
60 Bridal show producers, representing hundreds of bridal shows, from all over the world have come to gether to discuss the wedding industry. Everything is on the agenda from bridal trends, fashion, marketing and of course the economy.
The best minds of the industry have indicated that although there are drastic changes in the industry this year, brides are getting married and they are "JUST" booking later in the year than in times past.
More to come,
According to many brides and wedding professionals that I am talking with lately. Thursday night is becomming the new Saturday night, most important wedding day in demand.
Facilities have the date open, always. Wedding professionals are always open and willing to make it worth your while if you would like to book them. And it get the party started before the weekend really starts. For brides, you can affor to take a day or two off and enjoy a little honeymoon downtime before friends have to be back to work on Monday.
It will become much more popular in the months to come. We feel the need to spread the information as fast as possible because we are here for you...Always.
Getting started-Familiarize,Fantasize,Prioritize, Visualize,Organize,Sympathize,Synchronize,Deputize
Bridesclub.com vendor listing - We're here to help! Check us out!
Weddings are a ceremony! A Celebration! One part reality and planning. A HUGE part fantasizing, dreaming, hoping and orchestrating.
We here at bridesclub.com are trying to bring to you the latest and best vendors in the field of wedding planning. Tips and trends, the newest in wedding services.
We want to inspire you with wonderfully innovative ideas to personalize your wedding celebration. First things first: What do you want? FAMILIARIZE yourself with the options and available services. FANTASIZE about all that can be. PRIORITIZE which points are important to you/your significant other. VISUALIZE what it is going to look like as it comes together. ORGANIZE it into smaller pieces. SYMPATHIZE - although it is your day, others should to be able to enjoy it. It is a celebration/party. You want others to enjoy it with you! SYNCHRONIZE your dreams, cultures, abilities to come together. DEPUTIZE your team! Who can you really rely on! Write down all of your thoughts on a piece of paper and start. You'd be surprised with what a little creativity and knowledge can bring you.
....and remember to ENJOY LIFE!
The Choice Is Yours, In Reality and In Life - ENJOY IT! I made the decision early last year to enjoy life. To not let anything get to me anymore.
I meet tens of thousands of brides every year at the Tacoma, Bellevue and Lynnwood Wedding Expos and over in Hawaii at the Hawaii Bridal Expo. I challenge them constantly to enjoy the process. Enjoy life!
We are all a great big family. At a wedding we participate in this reality by celebrating the uniting of husband and wife. We get together and we throw a big party as a family.
The last several months have awakened me! Im sure that it is safe to say we have been nervous, worried, and little scared about all the changes and uncertainty.
But I choose to be inspired, Why...? I look at this time to celebrate a new dawn. The coming of change.... whatever the outcome. We need to turn to each other, talk to friends, and families - we're all part of several families and "friends are the family we choose for ourselves". Celebrate the differences in yourself and those around you. Enjoy the life you are living and those you are living it with!
May we all be grateful for what we have and celebrate by sharing even more.